


Journey of Self Discovery

by Salem_05



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: All of this is based very loosely on my coming out experience, Angry Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Angry Toby Smith | Tubbo, Angry Wilbur Soot, Author Projecting onto TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), But not in real life obviously, Don't get angry at me for not portraying it right, Dyslexic Toby Smith | Tubbo, Gen, Genderfluid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), He/She/They Pronouns for TommyInnit, Long-Haired Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Non-Binary Technoblade, Parental Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, She Wants to Understand, She's Trying Her Best, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc Fluff, This is entirely my experience and everyone's is different, TommyInnit's Father is an asshole, TommyInnit's Mother is confused, Worried Toby Smith | Tubbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29694111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salem_05/pseuds/Salem_05
Summary: "Tubbo, can you.." The blonde paused, swallowing thickly as he tried to find his voice again. The air around the young teen suddenly became suffocating, making him feel like he couldn't breathe."Tommy?" Tubbo asked worriedly, his brows furrowing in concern and worry. "Are you ok?"Tommy gulped, trying to find the right words to convey what he was trying to say."Can you...can you call me they?"------Or, after someone in chat calls him a different pronoun, Tommy goes through a journey of self discovery.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 23
Kudos: 377





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder that this is all loosely based off my experience of discovering and coming out as genderfluid. I am in no way forcing this onto the real person, Tommy is not genderfluid, but this is simply a source of venting and trying to tell a story to spread awareness for how damaging these situations can be. I don't know why I have to say this, but of course, there are no romantic relationships. If this were a different book, with different characters in a different situation, then maybe there would be, but that's simply not what this story is about. If you came here hoping for romance, then I'm afraid this story isn't for you. For those of you that came here for normal reasons or because you relate to this kind of situation, you're welcome to stay and know that I am here for you.

"What is up, chat?!" Tommy yelled excitedly, shifting in his seat to get more comfortable as his chat flooded with a series of greetings, ranging from calm to screaming a hello back.

He waited patiently for Tubbo to join his vc, deciding that in the meantime, he'd log onto the SMP and get things started.

Tommy watched Minecraft begin to load, almost not noticing the familiar sound of someone joining the call.

"Hey Tommy!" Tubbo greeted excitedly, and the blonde teen could practically hear his smile in his voice. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, Big Man, just waiting for you to log onto the SMP so we can do that thing we were talking about." Tommy replied, waiting for the other to catch on.

"What thing?" The brunette asked, voice laced with confusion. A couple seconds later though, he gasped, clearly realizing. "Oh, THAT thing!"

Tommy laughed at his friend's reaction, ignoring chat's questions about what the "thing" was. "Yes, Tubbo, THAT thing."

"Are you gonna tell chat or should I?" Tubbo asked, clearly grinning.

"Nah, they'll find out soon anyway." The blonde replied, shrugging.

"Right, shall we get started then? I've logged on now." Tubbo said.

"Yeah, let's do this." Tommy grinned, his braces shining brightly as he did.

\------

Two hours later, Tommy and Tubbo finally finished The Thing™, gazing up at it in all it's glory.

It was a gigantic block statue of Tommy, wearing netherite armor and holding what was supposed to be his disc, but really just looked like a black blob with a small purple spot.

"It's done." The blonde grinned, staring at his masterpiece, which would be sure to be admired by everyone on the server.

"Tommy?" Tubbo asked, hearing a hum in response to his question. "Why did we do this again?"

"Because, Tubbo, then everyone will look up to me, and say 'hey, TommyInnit is an awesome guy.'" He replied with his signature cheeky grin.

"That is true." Tubbo laughed slightly. "You are an awesome guy."

Tommy chuckled in agreement, going to reply again, but trailed off as he saw something in chat that made him freeze.

'Tommy really is an awesome person, I agree!'

He didn't know why that sentence affected him so much. They were just calling him a person, it's what he was. A human being.

"Tommy, are you ok? You've gone silent, which is weird because it's you." Tubbo joked, but Tommy could still hear the concern in his voice.

"Tubbo, can you.." The blonde paused, swallowing thickly as he tried to find his voice again. The air around the young teen suddenly became suffocating, making him feel like he couldn't breathe.

"Tommy?" Tubbo asked worriedly, his brows furrowing in concern and worry. "Are you ok?"

Tommy gulped, trying to find the right words to convey what he was trying to say.

"Can you...can you call me they?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that this is all loosely based off my experience of discovering and coming out as genderfluid. I am in no way forcing this onto the real person, Tommy is not genderfluid, but this is simply a source of venting and trying to tell a story to spread awareness for how damaging these situations can be. I don't know why I have to say this, but of course, there are no romantic relationships. If this were a different book, with different characters in a different situation, then maybe there would be, but that's simply not what this story is about. If you came here hoping for romance, then I'm afraid this story isn't for you. For those of you that came here for normal reasons or because you relate to this kind of situation, you're welcome to stay and know that I am here for you.

Tommy waited with baited breath for Tubbo's reply. After he'd asked what he did, the other had gone silent, and Tommy worried that he'd hung up or something.

Soon though, Tubbo spoke up, and it was clear from his tone of voice that he was confused.

"You want me to call you they?" Tommy nodded in response to his question, quickly realising Tubbo couldn't see him, then said "Yeah."

"OK, hold on, go on mute for a second." The brunette teen said, and Tommy quickly obeyed, muting himself so that chat couldn't hear him.

"Are you on mute too?" The blonde asked.

"Yeah." Tubbo replied. "So now that we are, I can ask you this without chat freaking out."

Tommy swallowed slightly at this, suddenly becoming nervous. He didn't know why he was nervous. Tubbo was his friend, he'd never do anything to hurt him.

...Right?

"Tommy," Tubbo spoke again, finally getting the blonde teen's attention. He must have been zoning out. "Are you Non-Binary?"

"What?" Tommy blinked in confusion. What was Non-Binary? He's pretty sure that he'd heard it somewhere before, but couldn't remember-

Oh.

He suddenly remembered the word from when Technoblade had come out to him and the rest of Sleepy Bois Inc. Though now, Tommy was beginning to consider changing the name of their little group so Technoblade wouldn't feel left out.

"You mean...like what Technoblade said they were?" Tommy asked.

"Yes." The brunette replied. "Is that what you are? Is that what you want? To go by they/them pronouns?"

"I, uh..." Tommy chuckled nervously, licking his lips anxiously as his brain short circuited. He could barely process what Tubbo was asking him.

"Take your time. I'll still be here." Tubbo said, and it wasn't at all condescending, no, it was sincere, gentle, and kind. Tommy smiled slightly, finding that those three words fit Tubbo very well.

"Thanks, Big Man.." He replied. "But uh...I mean, I don't know. I'm just really confused right now, Tubbo."

"That's ok," The brunette reassured gently. "Would it help if I tried calling you different pronouns? To help you see which ones feel right?"

"Y-Yeah, that would help." The blonde admitted.

"Ok." Tubbo replied, and Tommy could practically hear the gentle smile in his voice.

"I like my friend Tommy. They are kind and I love them a lot. No homo." Tubbo said.

Tommy chuckled slightly at the last bit, but stopped short as he realised something.

He realised how happy it made him hearing Tubbo call him they. How much it filled his (their?) heart with warmth.

"How was that?" The brunette teen asked.

"It - It was nice." Tommy answered bluntly, trying to calm down the hammering of his (or their? honestly he didn't know at the moment) heart.

"Ok. How about if I called you she?" Tubbo asked. "Would that be ok?"

"I don't know." Tommy half mumbled back. "You can try it, but I still think I'm a Big Man. Or person."

Tubbo laughed slightly, then went on with this little experiment he was trying to help Tommy.

"My friend Tommy is funny. She is my best friend and a Big Woman." Tubbo couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him at the last part.

Tommy didn't laugh. He simply stared at his (her? their? oh dear lord, tommy has no idea at this point) computer screen, trying hard to focus and reply.

But he couldn't - she couldn't, they couldn't - ugh, this was really confusing. Tommy could barely breathe at this point, and it seemed to be heard by Tubbo, who got worried at his friend practically hyperventilating and worriedly asked if Tommy was ok.

Tommy exhaled slowly, finally gaining control of his breathing.

"I'm alright, Tubbo. Better than alright."

"Ok, that's good." Tubbo sighed in relief.

"So uh...which pronoun do you think feels the most right?" The brunette asked, waiting patiently for his friend's response.

"All three? I think? I don't know, that's probably weird, I shouldn't-" Tommy rambled, beginning to hyperventilate again.

"No no no, Tommy! Calm down, it's fine." Tubbo tried to calm him. "It's not weird."

"I-It's not?"

"No, of course not." He could hear Tubbo smiling again. "Eret goes by all pronouns too. Why would I judge you for it?"

"I don't know." Tommy chuckled nervously. "I guess I was just being silly."

"Yeah, really silly." Tubbo giggled.

The two went silent again. Tommy was the one to break it this time.

"So...what am I?"

"Honestly, I can't tell you that. But if I were you, I'd leave that question for another day. You seem really overwhelmed already." Tubbo replied, clearly worried.

"Yeah, ok. Is it alright if I end stream? We've been gone for 6 minutes anyway, they're probably bored." Tommy laughed slightly. Tubbo did too.

"Yeah, that's ok." Tubbo replied. "And Tommy?"

"Hm?"

"No matter what you are, I'll always support you, no matter what." Tubbo turned on his camera briefly and looked into it, smiling at Tommy.

"Thanks, Big Man." Tommy smiled back, turning on his camera on briefly as well.

Tubbo grinned then turned off his camera again, Tommy doing the same. "Goodbye Tommy!" Tubbo yelled happily.

"Bye, Tubbo!" Tommy yelled back then ended the call, quickly saying goodbye to chat as well before ending the stream.

He didn't understand himself just yet, but that was fine. Everything, for the moment, was fine.

And he was ok.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that this is all loosely based off my experience of discovering and coming out as genderfluid. I am in no way forcing this onto the real person, Tommy is not genderfluid, but this is simply a source of venting and trying to tell a story to spread awareness for how damaging these situations can be. I don't know why I have to say this, but of course, there are no romantic relationships. If this were a different book, with different characters in a different situation, then maybe there would be, but that's simply not what this story is about. If you came here hoping for romance, then I'm afraid this story isn't for you. For those of you that came here for normal reasons or because you relate to this kind of situation, you're welcome to stay and know that I am here for you.

When Tommy woke up the next morning, he expected it to be a relatively normal day, messing around with Tubbo, getting 'bullied' by Wilbur, and doing whatever the hell he did with Technoblade (honestly, he had no idea, they were a mystery).

What he hadn't expected was to find that the #EnbyInnit was trending on Twitter.

At first, the blonde was confused. Then he remembered the events of yesterday.

Oh. Ok.

So he wasn't just a he anymore. She could be a she too. Or a they.

To be honest, Tommy, though she wasn't so sure on that name anymore, was still confused. It was normal to be after all, because most of her life she'd only ever known herself as TommyInnit. The popular Twitch streamer, #1 feminist, the Big Man that everyone loved.

Now she was, or they were, a confused teenager.

After what they had said on stream yesterday with Tubbo, it was clear that chat had caught on, and not only were they questioning their very identity now, so were their fans.

Fuck, it was probably already clipped by now. Wilbur was doing a MediaShare earlier, what if someone shared it with him? Oh God, what if everyone had seen it?

Dream would know. Fundy would know. Niki would know. Sam would know. Puffy would know. George would know, Sapnap would know, Bad would know, Skeppy would know-

Wilbur, Techno and Phil would know.

Tommy felt sick to their stomach. They leapt up from bed and ran to the bathroom, making it inside just in time to throw up, heaving and retching into the toilet.

After they'd finished, the blonde was vaguely aware of knocking on the door and their father's muffled voice.

"Tom, you ok in there?"

"Y-Yeah dad, I'm fine. Just got a stomach bug is all. I'll be fine, I'm a Big Man." Tommy replied, hating how their voice cracked on the last sentence.

"Ok, if you say so." Their father replied, and Tommy let a small sigh of relief slip out as they heard their father's footsteps retreating.

Standing up shakily, Tommy headed back into their room and curled up in bed, deciding that a nap would be best so they could clear their head.

They closed their eyes with a sigh and slipped into the dark abyss of sleep, relaxing for the first time that day.

\------

A few hours later, Tommy got a call from Wilbur.

Her first reaction, naturally, was to scream in shock and throw her phone.

Though, seeing the rather large crack on the screen now, she realized that was not the best reaction.

Groaning as her phone rang again, Tommy picked up and tried to sound as normal as possible.

"Hello?" She said, voice cracking a bit at the end.

Fuck.

"Hey Tommy." Wilbur said, not bringing up the voice crack, which filled her with immense relief. "I want to talk to you. About something important."

Her relief disappeared in an instant. She swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the growing pool of dread settling in her stomach. "O-Ok. About what?"

"Don't act like you don't know." Wilbur laughed, annoying Tommy slightly. This wasn't funny at all. "You know what I'm talking about, Tommy."

"I-I really don't, Wilbur.." She laughed nervously, swallowing back the bile that threatened to rise in her throat. "Enlighten me, please."

"C'mon, Tommy. The Among Us stream later!" Wilbur yelled exasperatedly. "How could you have forgotten?"

Tommy almost collapsed in relief. She was so terrified, that she'd actually prayed, and thank you God for listening.

"Oh, yeah, yeah! I remember now!" Tommy replied, laughing slightly. "Guess it just slipped my mind. Sorry, Wilbur."

"Nah, it's fine." Wilbur replied. "But there is something else I want to ask you."

"Ok, shoot." She replied, feeling confident enough now that it wouldn't be anything to do with what she was terrified of anyone finding out.

"I went on Twitter this morning and saw the hashtag 'EnbyInnit' all over my feed. Care to explain?" Wilbur asked.

Tommy froze up immediately.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK.

"O-Oh, that? I just said something out of context and chat took it the wrong way." She lied, laughing nervously as she licked her lips anxiously. "Now I guess they think I'm Non-Binary."

They're not entirely wrong, but she would never say that out loud.

"Oh." Wilbur said. "Well, it's ok if you are, but you're probably not. They called you a lesbian once too." Wilbur chuckled.

Tommy laughed slightly at the memory. "Yeah, LesbianInnit. Unfortunately, it's not canon."

"R.I.P LesbianInnit." Wilbur laughed, Tommy joining in.

"Ha..." Tommy chuckled slightly. "Anyway, this has been fun Wilbur, but I think I'm gonna go now."

"Ok, that's fine. Bye Tommy!"

"Bye Wilby!"

"Did you just call me Wilby-" The older man wheezed.

"No I didn't, dickhead!" She yelled back, face burning in embarrassment as she hung up before Wilbur could tease her more.

Flopping back on her bed with a sigh, Tommy stared up at the ceiling, hoping it would distract her from the nerves threatening to destroy her from the inside out.

She was still so scared of everyone finding out. They could hate her. They could hurt her. She didn't want that.

"I need to talk to someone who will understand.." Tommy sighed. She thought and thought for a while, but couldn't think of one person she could talk to.

Then she remembered.

Opening up her now cracked phone, Tommy went on messages and sent a text.

TommyInnit: hey techno, can we talk?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that this is all loosely based off my experience of discovering and coming out as genderfluid. I am in no way forcing this onto the real person, Tommy is not genderfluid, but this is simply a source of venting and trying to tell a story to spread awareness for how damaging these situations can be. I don't know why I have to say this, but of course, there are no romantic relationships. If this were a different book, with different characters in a different situation, then maybe there would be, but that's simply not what this story is about. If you came here hoping for romance, then I'm afraid this story isn't for you. For those of you that came here for normal reasons or because you relate to this kind of situation, you're welcome to stay and know that I am here for you.

TommyInnit: hey techno, can we talk?

The blonde teen waited for what seemed like forever, until finally, Techno replied.

Blood God: Sure but only for a while

Blood God: What's up

Tommy exhaled shakily. She was so, so scared of telling anyone. But she knew if she didn't, it would tear her apart. So she typed back.

TommyInnit: ive been having a gender crisis and tubbo helped me with it so now i go by she/he/they pronouns but im terrified of anyone finding out please help

Tommy waited with baited breath for their response. Soon, Techno's reply lit up the screen.

Blood God: Uhhh wow ok

Blood God: That's a lot to process

Blood God: Well first off, I guess I should congratulate you on self discovery, but I'm not that kind of person so how about just a "cool"

Tommy chuckled slighly then typed a response.

TommyInnit: wow way to be insensitive techno lol

Blood God: It's not my fault I'm always emotionally unavailable

TommyInnit: true lmao

TommyInnit: anyway about the whole "if anyone finds out i may or may not combust and implode on the spot" thing

Blood God: Right that

Blood God: Uhhhh

Blood God: My advice is take your time, don't tell anyone until you're ready, and when you are

Blood God: Strike anyone down who doesn't accept you

Blood God: And have fun

TommyInnit: lmao ok???

TommyInnit: you are a strange person technoblade

Blood God: I know

Blood God: Anyway I gotta go talk to the homeless man now

Blood God: May or may not kill him

Blood God: See you later Tommy

TommyInnit: lol bye techno

She turned off her phone with a sigh, flopping back on her bed wearing a small smile. Earlier, she had felt like if anyone found out she would, and I quote, "combust and implode on the spot". Now, she felt...calmer. Happier. Like everything was going to be ok.

Feeling content, Tommy almost fell asleep when she remembered something important.

"Shit, the Among Us stream!" She cried, leaping up from bed to set everything up on her computer.

After starting stream and opening Among Us, Tommy soon heard the familiar sound of someone joining the vc, and grinned as Wilbur's voice filled her ears.

"Hey, Tommy!" Wilbur shouted, the young teen wincing at his volume. "Ready to play some Among Us?"

"You bet I am, Big Man!" She yelled back, grinning widely as her braces shined.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that.." Wilbur groaned, making Tommy giggle in response.

"Also, Tommy." Wilbur spoke again, catching the blonde's attention. She heard shuffling on Wilbur's side, and then his voice filled her ears again, as he spoke directly into his mic.

"If you close the doors on me again, I will smash your vlog guns."

Tommy roared with laughter at the memory of closing doors on Wilbur over and over again, as the older man got progressively more pissed off.

"I won't do it again Wilbur, just please don't smash my vlog guns!" She pleaded, milking the acting slightly by pretending to cry.

"You swear?" Wilbur asked.

"I swear!" She cried, fake sobbing.

"Alright, I won't. But if you close even ONE door...it's over, Tommy." Wilbur said in a fake threatening voice.

The two of them laughed a bit afterwards, then decided to start the game as everyone else joined the vc.

"Let's do this!" Tommy grinned.

\------

Tommy hummed to herself as she did her task in electrical, connecting the pink wires to each other.

She let out a loud gasp as the familiar sound of being killed filled her ears, and saw the animation of Wilbur stabbing her in the back.

"WILBUR YOU BITCH!" She screamed, despite the fact he could not hear her. "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE VLOG GUNS RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA CLOSE SO MANY DOORS ON YOU!"

Seething silently in rage, Tommy grumbled to herself as she walked out of electrical, floating through the walls aimlessly, having nowhere to go anymore since she'd finished all her tasks.

She saw Tubbo's ghost floating nearby, and glided towards him, moving her mouse so that she circled him in frantic movements.

The older teen soon joined in, both of them circling around each other in the middle of MedBay. Tommy giggled, amused at their silly antics. She was so glad Tubbo was her friend. She would never, ever, say this to his face, it was too embarrasing, but Tubbo was really funny, and kind, and she loved him (as a friend obviously, I'm looking at you problematic shippers).

After a while, the game ended, and Tommy ended stream, saying goodbye to chat and her friends, then leaned back in her chair with a happy sigh, wearing a small smile on her face.

Seeing that Tubbo was still in a vc on his own, Tommy joined it.

"Hey, Tubbo." She smiled. "What are you still doing here?"

"Oh, I forgot to leave." He chuckled sheepishly. "Oops."

She laughed slightly. "You're such an idiot."

"Hey, I am not!" Tubbo yelled, and she could hear the pout in his voice.

"Sure, whatever you say, Big Man." She chuckled.

"Oh yeah, Tommy, though I don't know if I should still call you that.." Tubbo trailed off, unsure.

"Tommy is fine for now." She hummed.

"Ok, good." Tubbo continued. "So what are your pronouns for today? Are they neutral or just one?"

"Just one." Tommy replied. "She/her today."

"Ok." Tubbo replied. "Well, bye now Tommy! If you change your mind about your name, you can go talk to Eret! They have a bunch of ideas!"

"Ok, I will do that when I change my mind." Tommy said. "Bye Tubbo."

"Bye!" He yelled again before leaving vc.

Tommy left as well, feeling a different feeling blossoming in her chest. It took her a while to pinpoint what it was.

Confidence.

Tommy felt confident. Confident in herself, in her looks, in her identity. So confident that she wouldn't even bat an eye as she ordered herself a lovely skirt, long and pink and wavy.

Perhaps the next day she would regret this decision, but not now. Now, she was happy. And nothing could change that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that this is all loosely based off my experience of discovering and coming out as genderfluid. I am in no way forcing this onto the real person, Tommy is not genderfluid, but this is simply a source of venting and trying to tell a story to spread awareness for how damaging these situations can be. I don't know why I have to say this, but of course, there are no romantic relationships. If this were a different book, with different characters in a different situation, then maybe there would be, but that's simply not what this story is about. If you came here hoping for romance, then I'm afraid this story isn't for you. For those of you that came here for normal reasons or because you relate to this kind of situation, you're welcome to stay and know that I am here for you.
> 
> Also, daily updates? It's more likely than you think

Tommy was upstairs streaming when it happened. They were playing Jackbox with Big Q, Dream, Sapnap and Karl. Tommy was in the middle of laughing at one of Quackity's jokes when they heard their father yell from downstairs.

"TOMMY!"

The young teen jumped a bit at his volume, glancing over their shoulder to shout back. "Yeah dad!?"

"GET DOWN HERE NOW!" He bellowed.

That familiar pit of dread settled in their stomach, though they desperately tried to ignore it, and turned back to their laptop briefly.

"H-Hold on guys, I'll be back." Tommy managed to choke out before muting their mic and heading downstairs.

When they got to the living room, they could already sense something was wrong. Their mother was sitting on the sofa, head held in her hands, which Tommy noticed were shaking. And their father was standing next to her, wearing a look of scorn and disappointment.

"Is everything ok?" Tommy asked, leaning down next to their mother. "Mum, what's wrong?"

"Your mother doesn't want to talk to you right now." Their father spoke for her. "And quite frankly, neither do I."

"What? W-Why?" Tommy stammered, standing up to face him.

"Because we found out your little secret." Their father spat, and tossed something at them. Tommy caught it, staring down at the object their dad had thrown at them, and-

Oh. Oh God.

Tommy stared wide eyed at the pink skirt in their hands, fingers trembling as they gripped the soft fabric, threatening to rip it apart at any second. Every single cell in their body was screaming, screaming at them to move, to run, to get out of there as soon as possible.

But they couldn't. They were frozen like a deer in headlights. They'd been caught with their hand stuck in the cookie jar. Tommy had no idea how they were going to get out of this one.

But they knew they had to try.

"I-I..."The blonde stuttered. "What are you talking about? I didn't order this, dad. Mum must have."

"It didn't come from your mother's account. It came from yours." Their father shot back, voice colder than ice.

"W-Well that doesn't prove I ordered it! Maybe I got hacked!" Tommy replied. Fuck, they were yelling now. It was giving them away.

"So someone hacked your account, ordered a pink skirt, and delivered it to our house?" He asked, sounding unconvinced.

"Y-Yes.." Tommy trailed off, realising it was futile. He was never going to believe them. He was going to find out. He was going to hate them.

"Be honest, son," Their father said, and Tommy tried not to wince at the term. "You ordered that skirt, didn't you?"

Swallowing thickly, Tommy locked their gaze onto the ground and nodded.

"Why? You're not a girl. Boys don't wear skirts." His father said firmly.

Tommy looked up at this, clearly disagreeing with the look in their eyes. "Are you sure you wanna say that, dad? It's 2021."

"NO SON OF MINE WILL WEAR A SKIRT!" Their father screamed, and Tommy stumbled back at the sudden outburst, eyes widening.

"Honey.." Tommy's mother finally stood up from the sofa, placing a hand on her husband's heaving chest in an effort to calm him. "You need to calm down, you're scaring Tommy."

"I'm scaring him? 𝘐'𝘮 scaring him?" Their father replied in disbelief. "He's scaring me! He bought a skirt, for God's sakes! You can't just be fine with that!"

"Well..." She paused briefly to turn to Tommy, shooting her child a small smile. "Maybe I am."

Tommy smiled back, but their face fell as their father shook his head, stepping towards the blonde wearing a look of anger in his eyes as he leaned in and hissed,

"I want you out of my house. 𝘕𝘰𝘸."

Tommy stiffened in shock as their mother cried out in protest.

"You can't send Tommy out there alone! They're too young!" She yelled, and Tommy appreciated her use of their pronouns, despite the fact that she didn't know them yet.

"I am not having this...this 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 living under the same roof as me!" He shot back.

"Tommy's not a thing!" She yelled angrily. "They're your child!"

"I HAVE NO CHILD!" He screamed in anger. She recoiled with a gasp, and quickly glanced to Tommy.

Tommy was trembling badly, small tears rolling down their cheeks as they gripped the fabric of the skirt even tighter, hoping it would bring them some comfort.

It didn't.

They were vaguely aware of their father telling them to pack their things and go. No, the only thing they could hear was the loud thumping of their own heartbeat, wild and erratic and 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥.

Tommy was scared, so scared. They'd been terrified of this sort of outcome, and now it had happened. They were being kicked out, being left to die on the street.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮.

Tommy broke down into heaving sobs, collapsing to the floor as they wept into the skirt, dampening the soft fabric with their tears.

Their shoulders shook with muffled cries as their mother held them, stroking their hair softly and trying to calm them.

She was yanked away from them very abruptly, and Tommy looked up to see their father yelling at her, shaking her by the shoulders. She was yelling back, but looked absolutely terrified, trying to push her husband away.

In a fit of rage, Tommy leapt up from the floor and shoved their father hard, pulling their mother away from him.

They watched their father stumble back, wearing a look of shock. Tommy glared at him with as much hate as they could muster, shielding their mother behind them in a protective manner.

After their father had recovered, he stormed toward Tommy again, raised his palm, and-

𝘚𝘔𝘈𝘊𝘒!

Tommy fell to the floor with a thump, clutching their cheek which burned from the force of the slap. They watched as their mother and father started yelling at each other again, but Tommy didn't hear a word.

They couldn't stay there anymore.

With a stifled sob, Tommy stood up from the ground and ran into the bathroom, whimpering quietly as they still held the skirt tight to their chest, like it was their lifeline.

They didn't know what possessed them to do this, but Tommy picked up their phone and called the first person they could think of that they cared about the most.

The phone rang once, then twice, then finally, they picked up.

"Tommy?" Tubbo's voice filled their ears.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that this is all loosely based off my experience of discovering and coming out as genderfluid. I am in no way forcing this onto the real person, Tommy is not genderfluid, but this is simply a source of venting and trying to tell a story to spread awareness for how damaging these situations can be. I don't know why I have to say this, but of course, there are no romantic relationships. If this were a different book, with different characters in a different situation, then maybe there would be, but that's simply not what this story is about. If you came here hoping for romance, then I'm afraid this story isn't for you. For those of you that came here for normal reasons or because you relate to this kind of situation, you're welcome to stay and know that I am here for you.
> 
> Not me speedrunning updates-

With a stifled sob, Tommy stood up from the ground and ran into the bathroom, whimpering quietly as they still held the skirt tight to their chest, like it was their lifeline.

They didn't know what possessed them to do this, but Tommy picked up their phone and called the first person they could think of that they cared about the most.

The phone rang once, then twice, then finally, they picked up.

"Tommy?" Tubbo's voice filled their ears.

Tommy let out a shaky sob, replying with a wavering voice. "T-Tubbo...is it ok if I stay with you for a few days?"

"Well of course it is, but what happened? Are you ok?" Their friend asked, clearly worried.

"My uh...my dad, he.." The blonde sniffled, wiping away tears that had gathered in their eyes. "He found out, and I...I'm being kicked out, Tubbo.." Tommy started sobbing quietly at the end.

"Oh, Tommy.." Tubbo whispered, so as not to overwhelm the other. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine.." Tommy laughed bitterly. "I'm fine, I-I'm a Big Person, nothing I can't handle."

"No, you're not fine." Tubbo continued. "You're crying. It's ok to cry, Tommy, you don't have to lie."

"I-I just..." Tommy choked back a sob, a broken smile making it's way onto their face. "Your parents, they...they always tell you that they're gonna be there for you, that t-they love you.."

Tubbo hummed in response, unsure what else to say. So he decided to just listen, letting Tommy know he was there.

The blonde continued, voice and body shaking now. "And then...you ask yourself 'is their love conditional? Or do they love you no matter what?'" They paused, exhaling as a tear rolled down their cheek, smiling sadly. "Then, you find out...that it is. Their love 𝘪𝘴 conditional, and they only love you when it suits them best. When it works in their favour."

"Tommy..." Tubbo replied sadly, and Tommy could hear it in his voice, that Tubbo was crying too. "Listen to me. Your parents may not love you unconditionally, but 𝘐 do. 𝘐 love you, Tommy."

Tommy sniffled, wiping their tears with a dry chuckle. "Thanks, Big Man.."

"No problem." The brunette teen replied. "And hey, if you really need a place to stay, I can talk to my mum right now."

Tommy blinked, laughing slightly. "Oh no, Tubbo, I was just saying that, you don't have to-"

"No, I mean it." Tubbo said firmly, before speaking gently. "You're like a sibling to me, Tommy. I love you just like I'd love Lani, or my mum."

Tommy almost started crying again. "Y...You really mean that?"

"Of course I do! Heck, I bet Phil, Wilbur and Techno all feel that way too! So if my mum says no, which I doubt, you can always ask them too."

The blonde smiled slightly, cuddling the skirt now instead of holding it in a death grip. "Thanks...I love you like a sibling too, Tubbo.."

"Love you too, Tommy." Tubbo replied, smile clear in his voice, then he yelled suddenly, startling the blonde. "Hey mum! Come here!"

Tommy heard more yelling, then suddenly Tubbo's camera was turned on, and his mother's face was in front of the screen, wearing a look of confusion.

"Hello." Tommy greeted as cheerfully as they could.

"Tommy!" She smiled. "Hi, how are you?"

"Eh, I've been better," They replied honestly. "Played some games with my friends, got kicked out of my house, and now I'm talking to you-"

"Wait, wait!" She cut him off, frowning. "You what?"

"Played some games with my friends." Tommy said.

"No, the last one."

"Now I'm talking to you-"

"No, Tommy!" She sighed, exasperated. "What do you mean you got kicked out?"

"Oh, that." They said as if it was no big deal. "Well, it's a funny story, really, you're gonna laugh-"

"Tommy." She stared at them, unimpressed.

"Alright, fine," Tommy groaned. "I got kicked out because my dad found out I ordered a skirt, and now here we are."

"You ordered a skirt?" She asked. Tommy was surprised not to hear a trace of disgust in her voice. "Can I see it?"

"Uh - sure," They stammered, turning on their camera too and lifting up the pink skirt, now stained with tears, but that didn't seem to bother Tubbo's mother, because she gasped, smiling. "Oh, Tommy, it's lovely! If I were there, I'd take it for myself."

"Wait," The blonde teen blinked, eyes widening. "You don't think it's...w-weird?"

"Of course not!" She frowned. "I believe people can wear whatever they want as long as it's not harming anyone. Though I don't know how clothes could hurt someone."

"Well, my dad seems to think they can.." Tommy grumbled, looking down.

"Well, your dad doesn't know what he's talking about. I think that skirt would really suit you." The brunette woman smiled. "Why don't you put it on?"

"N-Now?" Tommy asked nervously.

"Yes, now! But turn off your camera, I'm not going to watch you changing." She cringed at the thought, and the blonde did too.

Nodding, Tommy turned off their camera and began to shrug off their trousers, throwing them on the floor near the toilet, then slipped the skirt on, going to look at themself in the bathroom mirror, and-

Tommy almost cried.

The skirt fit them perfectly, not hugging their hips too tightly but not being too loose either, flowing around their legs and stopping just above their knees. They looked perfect. It was almost laughable, really. If you told 8 year old Tommy he would be wearing a pretty pink skirt in a couple years, he would have laughed in your face and not believed you.

But present Tommy believed it. Present Tommy saw it with their own eyes, which definitely weren't tearing up. Present Tommy could see their own beauty, and accepted it wholeheartedly. Present Tommy laughed, but out of pure joy, tears of happiness rolling down their cheeks.

Present Tommy didn't even care as their father yelled profanities when they walked out the door with a bag of their things. No, Present Tommy didn't even spare him a glance.

Because until that man came to his senses, he was 𝘯𝘰𝘵 Tommy's father.


	7. A/N: New Book

So I made a new original book with original characters, so if you all would be interested in that, I would really appreciate it if you all went to read it. I will continue to write for fandoms of course, but my own works are important to me too. I hope, if you decide to read it, that you enjoy it. Thank you and have a nice day ^^


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